When I die, I want people to remember me for the tremendously enriched life I lead. The one that is chock full of exotic fishes, bengal kisses, day trips to out of town shops,beady rodent eyes, silly lizard begging, and more happiness than should be physically possible.
After a minor detour that almost sent me to depressed-ville, I have a new take on the year and life ahead of me. Some days it is hard to picture what this can entirely be. Some days you want to sleep forever and procrastinate on those things you used to love. I almost did that today. Laid in bed, exhausted from days of no sunlight or free time or rest. But then I quickly looked to the tanks about me that….well, a lot needed to be filled. I thought, dammit, today is the day. I am in constant fear, after all, of the day my life is cut short and those things never get accomplished. What a wasted life. I hope to avoid that, but the only thing you have (all cheesiness aside) is the present. Truly, I only live and breathe now. I could play those moments to the tune of distractions. But I know what I love, deep down.
I’m a fish geek girl, through and through.
So I bought those barbs today. I prepped a nice large tank for them and made it happen. All the while I eyed the clock and noticed how few hours had passed while I was accomplishing so much. It’s absurd. I almost want to accuse the internet for quickly decimating all free will and time a person possesses. It is the great addiction of this time, when most anything else couldn’t imagine a construct. A living creature is concerned with one thing: living. It must acquire energy and sustain a function. So, too, must I. But I can become removed. If I let hours be consumed any other way.
So I quietly attended to my fish, in the secure warmth of my home. A relatively free day. Sunshine through the windows still. It’s my happiest times.
And this 5 gallon bowfront with a medium fry compartment hooked up! raising baby red ancistrus there that i was gifted.
Is this real life???
It’s all I know.