I’ve got a Migraine

The entire day has plagued me with this troubling pain just behind my temples.  I think I’ve been staring at screens far too long; the back-lit kind with the pixels.  My work at the library demands high attention to pixels as I carefully photoshop the bad spots on images.  Five hours straight of that and two days in a row ought to explain the pain that is the migraine.  However, I’m not convinced.  I haven’t felt myself in quite some time now.

Friday is a glorious weekday in that I get paid.  I almost immediately have errands to attend to at week’s end, and this week proved no different.  So I set to work picking up some necessities after that library gig which left me with a terrible migraine was through.  I wandered around a pet store and a specialty grocer and the supermarket in total.  I had ensured there was food in my belly beforehand, and as I walked down aisle after aisle of delectable food items I was struck by just how much I didn’t care.  I looked at the scrumptious things before me and thought of my budget and then thought of my needs and concluded I didn’t know what I was doing.  So I wandered aimlessly a while more.  I felt on the verge of tears, flooded by memories of my friend and I as I was.  There were couples picking out cheese at the dairy counter and grabbing alcoholic beverages for the weekend.  I couldn’t stand it.  I felt so sad, because I’ve not had that true couple experience in years.  And what I might have considered couple behavior was always a lie.  So naturally I blamed my apparent inferiority and tried to move on and make some good of the effort I expended to get to the store.  I set my mind to a few projects.  No one likes a hopeless girl.

It hardly helps any that I tried to have a casual sexual encounter just before this.  I like to think fuck buddies can be a viable thing, but more and more I think it’s just the lying cherry on top of the sundae of lies.  It didn’t go as planned and the guy bailed as he always does.  Leaving me for better things; things that suit him more.  I can hardly blame him.

I want to believe it is the migraine that’s getting to me.  I don’t like to throw pity parties where the cake is a lie. I’m doing just fine.


I’ve just got a migraine. It’ll go away in time.


Taking the Inconvenient Road home- and Loving it

I woke up today a mini-celebrity at MSU.  Although that’s probably an overstatement.  I got an article in the state news, and that’s the gist.  But I was proud, as were my friends and family.  It was a moment.

I had my coffee and set out to experience new things.

That I did, that I did!  My mind is jumbled now trying to recollect, but mostly….the idea of savoring every moment of every day comes to mind.  That’s what I indulged in.  I savored every inconvenience and every interaction today.  Should I recreate this day?  I think it would fill many pages.  And this is most days for me, crazy enough.  How can you not have a million things to say?  AT all times?  it’s exhausting.  But I want to revisit, even so soon.  Even in the event that it’s not over.  Shall we?!

It begins with a false start.  Fridays are always a free day for me, which is glorious.  But i got on my bike and intended to get much accomplished only to get called back home while i was just perusing Old Town.  I bought some waxworms at the bait shop as they were out of the elusive butter worm that tantalized me previously.  I scanned Preuss Pets but made no purchase.  Also I nabbed a deer tail for potential costume use.  Returning home, however, was no awful thing.  It set me on the right track for the day as I had intended to get a haircut but knew in my heart I only wanted to get it done at an Aveda institute (which is nowhere near Old Town).  My sister joined me for Chinese food as a lunch.  And I made my appointment.

The next time I embarked by bike, I was to succeed in getting somewhere.  I struggled with mounting the bike on the bike rack as usual, which always entertains the bus driver who picks up at the end of my street.  I guess I’m a regular now with this whole “no car” putting me in the bus system more than I’d like.  But I make the best, we all know 🙂  After a quick transfer, I was on Grand River and downtown East Lansing.  3:00 PM.  I had thirty minutes til my appointment at Aveda.  So naturally i took the opportunity to check out the Curious book store, which always treats the eyes. I set my alarm and began browsing.  I wanted a nature guide of sorts, but instead stumbled upon a Pond and Aquarium fish encyclopedia that i recalled checking out as a kid at the community library.  It was the very same content.  Beautiful.  It was the first item to be packed.

I always like when I get my haircut and the stylist tells me i have nice hair.  Really thick, but nice.  I have been weighed down with length and….weight….so I allowed 4 inches to be hacked off very neatly.  It was no stressful procedure.  It was necessary.  And then i had the delight of biking around town with a short hairdo.

Though I intended to take the bus straight to the meridian mall to get out near Okemos, i found myself chasing it by bike.  And then….i had biked halfway there.  So I kept going.  I haven’t had a functioning bike in years, and being that I grew up in the country….paved paths for biking is just so nice now!  So i quickly perked up and just focused on the destinations.  I knew i needed to get feeders……a little odds n ends.  But mostly I just like browsing because it is the unexpected sale that is always most rewarding.  Did I mention it was payday?  Twas.

I browsed Pet Supplies Plus.  Just a quick in and out.  It never delivers for me much these days.  but of note…I saw an electric blue acara contaminant that I could have acquired cheaply.  And many, many reptiles half off.  too bad I have my fill.  Even so, I grabbed a care sheet on firebelly toads.  Why not?  It’s free.

I began to feel hunger and so stopped at Burger King.  I have bruised a lot.  A LOT.  so I wonder if iron deficiency is to blame.  Or maybe I’m crazy and reckless.  Either way.  Food.  While consuming my whopper Jr. and fries, I noticed a survey on the back of my receipt promising a free burger or sandwich.  So I made note.

As I biked further, I got honked at a few times.  people staring.  Maybe at my chest as I wasn’t keen on wearing a bra with my cami today.  Oh well.  I biked til I made it to Petsmart.  Taking many back ways to avoid traffic.

I chatted with the fish guy.  Very good deals to be had on nice fish i noticed.  Silver dollars for….a dollar.  That was just funny.  And brown knife fish for $4.  I made many, MANY notes here.   And I guess at some point panda cories became super cheap.  NOTED.
Here, I grabbed some wet food for my cat-child and new toys on clearance.  I also needed feeders.  Coupon promised free dozen crickets with superworms.  I also got a coupon for $3 off next purchase with survey which I anxiously anticipated.  done and done.

Next stop was the mall.  Right nearby, thankfully.  I meant to go to Bath and Body Works.  But loitered everywhere else anyways.  Schulers is my favorite entrance…offering used books and goodies.  I did not buy, but a baby bongo toy was awfully tempting.  I may just visit the newborn bongo at Potter Park Zoo tomorrow.  I have always loved that antelope.

Distractions aside, I did take home an assortment of soaps and sanitizers.  Which didn’t make my pack any lighter.  I’m prepared to murder my muscles, it seems.

Lastly, I had to get over to Meijer.  I figured i would pick up the bus there afterwards. It was pushing 9 PM.  But i needed things that did not turn up elsewhere.  Such as vitamin supplements and tupperware.  Ware proved difficult to pack, but I managed.  I have no qualms about removing packaging to stuff things in my backpack on these trips.  Before I left Meijer, I ran into a pair of men buying a fish tank and accessories.  I stopped to make small talk and told them to enjoy it before carrying on.  As I was leaving I glimpsed this same pair picking out houseplants.  Those boys have earned themselves a fan.  Flora and fauna is essential to a healthy home, I heartily agree!

By now, the hour was past nine and lightning flashed in the distance as a rolling thunder began and precipitation followed.  I boarded the bus.  Free rides on first fridays, evidently.  Still, I struggled to mount the bike on the rack, and the bus driver was clearly amused and laughed audibly as I rushed on board after a hasty fastening.   I know.  I’m a character.  I cradled a bag of crickets in my lap til the bus neared lansing.  It was a while.  I got off downtown and knew immediately I had to bike the rest of the way.  Buses don’t run late.  But it was not a problem!  Lansing in the dark?  challenge accepted.  I was not slightly bothered.  And it wasn’t a far ride.  Oktoberfest sounded in the background of my trip.  Drunkies….best be safe biking, eh?  10 PM and I was letting myself move with gravity as it pulled the bike faster and faster to my house at the dead end and the bottom of the hill.  I tilted my head back and just relished the night.  I’m exhausted.  I have spent all day.  But I’m alive.

So that is the summary.  I love the quirks and turns my day takes and makes and throws.  Crazy Beautiful Life, i believe Ke$ha would say.

I’m just spoiled.  By everything I see.