It is fall again. And like the seasons, human emotions run in cycles. I feel like I’m watching things come full circle. I feel like a repeat button has been engaged and now I’m helpless to avoid the fated redundancy. The fated misery. I feel like I’m dying inside, to see such disinterest in the world and to see the fuel of it in the hands of the majority. Being social animals, humans want to be like each other. Humans strive for acceptance and commonality with a group of peers. What sickens me tonight and prompts this blog from dormancy is the witnessing of people with a profession for animals care and act so little towards them. To see such a lack of passion and a pretended front. With social media to hide behind, people can claim anything. People can stage anything. I don’t get people, to be anything other than what they are.
It drives me nuts to be a passionate fish geek and to simultaneously wear the title “goody two-shoes.” Lost, I’m sure, is all meaning to that phrase. But here I am, purely me. And nothing of that is like anything I’ve seen. Simply put, there isn’t another “me.” And that’s grand. That’s super. But I find myself amongst a crowd of people dressing and acting so similar. I am nearly convinced it is the phone in their palms that drives their disinterest. Nay, it consumes all of their interest so nothing is left to give. I see what looks like an empty person, so devoid of innocence and ingenuity and that spark of passion. I do not wish to join, but for whatever disdain I bring I feel it in return. There is a mutual dislike that is unspoken but I am convinced must be there. I am convinced people cannot leave dramatic interaction out of their routine. I know we all lie and hide and pretend. I know there is so little that is genuine. So this social tension begins again.